


As Always

by AngelOfDeath10



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Dates, Drama, F/M, Gen, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21053105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDeath10/pseuds/AngelOfDeath10
Summary: Sasuke is newly returned to Konoha and full of the usual cocktail of guilt and self-loathing.  When he encounters Sakura unexpectedly, he feels drawn to show a new side of himself to her.  As it turns out, turning over a new leaf is hard if your last name is Uchiha.





	As Always

**Author's Note:**

> Another found file. I don't even know where I had originally published this. Written in 2007 or earlier?
> 
> Disclaimer: I own not the Naruto.

Past the temple, past the trees, long lines of small stone obelisks glistening from the recent rainstorm greeted Sasuke’s eyes. It had been a long time, but nothing much had changed here. He hadn’t expected it to; it had only been a few years after all. It was one of those things that he hadn’t lingered on when he was training in Sound, except for those two times a year in which he couldn’t help but think of it: the official days in which he should be visiting. Gravestones didn’t go anywhere; he could see them in his mind even if he couldn’t be there in person.

They were dirty, no doubt, after several years of neglect. His neglect. Sasuke’s lip curled in disgust at himself. The responsibility was all his, and if it weren’t for him then who would be there to sweep the graves, to cleanse them and to remember. . . he had come prepared for a full day of work if not a few days of work. Maybe a few days of penance. It was difficult to differentiate at this point. The recent rain might even work in his favor, dislodging some of the dirt and allowing him to work faster, more efficiently.

While others might think that it would be a terrible thing to do for the recently retrieved member of Konoha, to tend to the graves of his fallen family members, it was more soothing to his nerves than confronting the still angry and suspicious people of the village. The blank stares of the ninja who had comrades fallen to Sound’s power were harder to bear than the less hidden animosity of the younger ninjas and the civilian members of the village. It was the path he had chosen for himself, he knew, and this was the consequence of his decision. Gravestones didn’t silently judge you guilty for sins you had long since punished yourself for in ways they couldn’t imagine.

Sasuke set down the bucket he had been carrying with a harsh clunk, sloshing the water over the side of the wooden rim. His eyebrows drew together and his voice was demanding and imperious.

“What are you doing here?”

In a modest but fetching black dress, bent over his parent’s gravestone, was Sakura. She was arranging flowers there, carefully making sure they were turned so that they presented themselves attractively to anyone who might pass by. At his accusatory tone she stood up straight, but she didn’t start. She must have known he was coming, or that someone was coming. It seemed as if she wore a guilty look on her face for a fraction of a second, before she composed herself and regarded him with a solemn and vaguely placid look.

Sasuke felt as if this was the hardest part to bear, the way that Sakura had treated him upon his return. From what Naruto had conveyed to him, both he and Sakura had been the most adamant of his supporters and had never given up on him, but her reception after his return seemed strangely. . . cold. 

“I was visiting, as I do every year. I didn’t think it was remarkable, but I know now that I am probably not welcome.” She stooped to add the finishing touches to the flower arrangement and to gather up her purse. 

While she was occupied, Sasuke looked around at the family plot. There was no way this could have been the natural state of things after all these years. The implication was clear: Sakura had taken care of the graves while he had been away. Sasuke knew he should be grateful, but instead he felt as if she had invaded something of his that was private. It might not have annoyed him so much, he found his mind rebelliously adding, if she weren’t so dismissive of him. She spared more care for his dead family then she had left for him, it appeared.

“Did you do all this?” He gestured at the sparkling clean area and Sakura delicately glanced down, as if only now noticing the state of things.

“Yes.” She waited for just long enough to see him hesitate between scolding her and thanking her before she began to walk away. Sasuke grabbed her arm as she passed, and from the way he felt her weight shift and her muscles pulse he knew that she was allowing him to do this. She could have broken away from him easily.

Rather than any of the flat statements he had going through his mind, he asked the plaintive question that had troubled him since he had returned. “Why?”

The glassy sheen to her eyes flashed fire for a moment before she composed herself again. “You want to know? Really?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s too bad for you, because I don’t feel like telling you.” It was said smugly.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and pulled her closer. “Damn it all, Sakura, I’m not in the mood for games.”

“This isn’t a game. If you don’t know why, then I’m not going to tell you. It should be perfectly obvious why I did it.” That temper of hers was reaching a point where she couldn’t control it any longer. The words came fast from those perfect pink lips of hers, followed by a fearsome smile that wasn’t born of good humor.

Apparently, they had been playing a game ever since he had returned, but he hadn’t known the rules. Sasuke sucked back a sigh and relinquished his hold on her arm. Sakura pulled it back and gently brushed where he had held her with tentative fingers.

“Are you still so clueless, Sasuke?”

She began to walk away and Sasuke looked down at the names engraved in stone, feeling like he was being reprimanded for something he didn’t know he had done. He was an adult now, for all intents and purposes, so why did he feel like he was being treated like a child!? If a gravestone could be accusing, then his parent’s was.

“Sakura, wait!” He jogged after her and found her sitting on the steps leading up to the temple, picking at the hem of her dress and looking as bleak as the grey sky above them which was beginning to lay a fine coat of drizzling rain down on them.

“What is it?”

“Since I don’t have anything I have to do today, apparently, let me take you to lunch to. . .” He drove a hand into his perfectly arranged hair, feeling it become moist from the falling droplets. “. . . to thank you.”

That brought a ghost of a smile to her face. It was just a slight lifting at the corner of her mouth, but it was optimistic. He felt like he was doing the right thing, and he did owe her his thanks. There would be plenty of time to visit graves later, but right now he felt like he had to do this, that they would have wanted him to. His plans be damned, Sakura was more important right now.

“That sounds nice.”

They were walking, slowly, ignoring the rain that had started to fall more heavily. Sakura’s pink hair was in strands that dripped at the end and she blinked water out of her eyes as it fell from her bangs.

“It was comforting, you know, doing that for you. I didn’t have any other way to help you for so long.” Her hand rooted around in her purse for her handkerchief, and she wiped the wetness from her face before folding it up again and holding onto it as they walked.

Sasuke didn’t have any real response to that so he grunted an assent and watched as her mouth went from soft to that hard little line he had seen ever since he had returned. There had been a time, he recalled, when even the slightest response from him brought her palpable feelings of pleasure. The emotions had radiated from her, but now she was no more radiating warmth than the sun hidden behind the clouds today. At the time he had felt that her expectations of him were too high and her pleasure too intense to last, but now he missed her beaming smile and that ready happiness.

Right now the really important thing was to find someplace to eat and survive through what would no doubt be an awkward lunch. Ramen would be too cheap, not to mention the fact that Naruto might be there and Sasuke didn’t want to add yet another uncomfortable personal relationship to the milieu. Things with Naruto were friendly these days, but strained, as they eased into an understanding of who the other was now.

They couldn’t just walk around aimlessly, so Sasuke turned into the nearest place he recognized. Too late, he remembered why he recognized it. From a table in the corner, Ino and Chouji waved at Sakura with big smiles and then turned on slightly more reserved expressions when they spotted the Uchiha next to her. Shikamaru was with them, but he only glanced in their direction before turning back to his food. Sasuke understood Shikamaru’s indifference to him, and he accepted it. At least it wasn’t malice.

It was just a barbeque place, maybe, but Sakura was so solicitous and polite that they might as well have been at a four star restaurant. He could have afforded one, and Sasuke felt rogue guilt punching at him. This was how he thanked her for taking care of his family? With second rate beef?

“We could go somewhere else.” Sasuke said as he watched her decide what she wanted to eat.

“I like it here. And this is good for you, to be here.” She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Sasuke tried to figure out what she meant, but it was when Ino passed by on her way to the ladies’ room that he got Sakura’s meaning. Everyone was watching him, always, evaluating his actions and his character. If he were seen doing normal things, then maybe people would start believing that he was a regular person. Sakura was acting out pleasure she didn’t actually feel for his benefit.

Again, he should have been grateful, but somehow this made his more petulant than the knowledge that she had been doing his family duty for him. Why did she have to act like she was happy? Well, he wasn’t the same, and he didn’t like the implication that Sakura assumed he was the same old Sasuke, the one who couldn’t accept anything from anyone or offer any of himself. He was here, wasn’t he, thanking her, shouldn’t that be worth something?

“You know what this looks like.” Sasuke said as he grabbed her hand across the table. Sakura clearly hadn’t expected him to attack like this, and she went still, her fake smile frozen in place. “With you in your nice dress, and me in my suit.”

She nodded, woodenly. “A date.” The smile fell, and her bland expression, the one he had come to hate, fell back into place. “If you didn’t want this, then you should have just said so from the beginning. There are no illusions between us, Sasuke. . .”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Sasuke rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, drawing an involuntary gasp from her. “I think you’re hiding a lot of things from me these days, Sakura. . . and if you think you have me all figured all out then you’re just like the rest of them.” He captured her eyes, confused and hopeful even as he released her hand. “We’re staying here.”

Silence sat heavily between them until they ordered their food. Sakura seemed to be thinking. By the time their food was sizzling in front of them, she had found her voice again, and Sasuke had already turned back into himself.

“Are we just here because you wanted to thank me?”

He picked out a piece of meat and set it on his plate, watching the juices ooze from it in a contemplative manner. “No.” He hadn’t glanced up at her, and there was not an ounce of the strange affection he had shown before, but Sakura seemed satisfied with his answer and didn’t trouble him for anything more.

They chewed for a while, and suddenly Sasuke felt his throat constrict as he saw her face spread into the smile he had wanted to see from her since the day he had arrived back in Konoha. It was welcoming, it was relieved, and it was every bit as loving as it had always been when they were young. For a strange moment, he felt like this completed something in him. Of course, he did the only thing anyone would do when they were filled with emotion while eating: he began to choke.

Sakura, always the sensible medic, reacted immediately. She was on his side in a flash, her arms around him, and with a heave she forced the meat out of his windpipe. The offending piece of meat flew across the table, and landed somewhere in the other booth. It had all happened so fast, that he was pretty sure no one had seen his shame. Sakura was patting him on the back, and asking how he felt. Only his pride was wounded, honestly, but that was plenty bad enough.

His whole existence concentrated on that small hand making soothing circles on his back. Both of them were still damp from walking in the rain, and he had just been prevented from ending his own existence by the very person who had endangered it with something so common as a smile. Sasuke wanted to shrink down into a ball and. . . and what, go back home to the empty houses where his clan had once lived? Maybe she should have let him finish choking, at least he would have died happy.

“Sasuke, what’s wrong? Do you feel ok?”

“Of course not.” He snapped at her. “I’m paying, and we’re leaving.”

Sakura didn’t argue. Sasuke didn’t care what she thought about his motives and desire to leave so suddenly. He slapped some money on the table and grabbed her hand to drag her out of the restaurant. It was done without thinking, but he found himself reluctant to relinquish her hand now that he had it. Sakura wasn’t resisting him, and that silly smile was on her face.

He dragged them over to a tree so that they were sheltered from the spring rain that had persisted to fall. Finally he let go of her hand, and she looked at him expectantly.

“Thank you. I. . .” He couldn’t find the words and crossed his arms over his chest before leaning back against the tree. “Today has been a difficult day.”

“I think I understand.” Sakura came to some sort of decision and leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. He brought up a hand immediately to cover the spot as if he had been branded by her lips. “You’re welcome. Two expressions of gratitude in one day. . . I never thought. . . well, I’ll be going.”

On an impulse, Sasuke stopped her as he had before, grabbing her arm. However, this time, he turned her around sharply to press his lips tightly against her own surprised ones. It was quick, it was decidedly damp and meat flavored from lunch, but he felt like if he didn’t do it then it might never happen.

She looked flustered now, blushing and shuffling her feet as she pulled away from him and bade him goodbye. Sasuke leaned back against the tree again and watched her go. That was how he wanted to see her, and he knew that it was that fluttering feeling she gave off that he missed. That was the real way to thank her, he knew, the way he could keep away that tight lipped and bored look on her face.

There must have been other things she had done for him while he was away. Rather than be annoyed at her presumption, he found himself keenly looking forward to finding them out. . . and properly thanking her.


End file.
